Fatherhood from the Eyes of a Son
As I have written in my blog descriptions, this blog is primarily for men. So naturally I am going to deal on occasion with the two fundamental hallmarks of masculinity; being a husband and being a father.
I think that as such, I should state why I am qualified to be sharing my reflections with others given that I am not myself a father or husband.
First, I think it is wrong to have the mentality that you shouldn't take parenting advise from someone who isn't a parent or marriage advise from a single man. Being a father doesn't make you qualified to be a father, and neither does not being a father disqualify you from having insight about fatherhood. (Trust me, nobody reads the Theology of the Body and says that a celibate can't really know what it means to be married).
Secondly, I may not be a father, but I sure as heck had one growing up and what I learned from his example and witness gave me a model and a foundation on which to build my understanding of what it means to be a father and husband.
Given these two facts, I think that I should be judged on what I say, rather than how qualified I am to say it.
To begin then, what does it mean to be a father?
God is the perfect image of a father, and I think one of the most fundamental attributes of God to fatherhood is mercy.
There is a little boy living with us at the time of my writing this, he is about two years old. I don't understand why he does it or what sets him off, but one moment he will be laughing and playing with me and wanting me to hold him, and then suddenly he will start screaming and crying even if I look at him. This is super frustrating for me. I have a soft spot for little kids and I just want them to love me and for them to let me love them back. So when this boy will have nothing to do with me, naturally it hurts. That's in a nutshell how I would describe God's love for us as a father.
The difference between me and God though, is that when this little boy wants to play with me five minutes after trying to bite and hit me, I want to punish him. I want to give him the cold shoulder and keep him in timeout. But when I as a child, return to God I am greeted with loving arms of forgiveness and mercy.
That is pretty difficult to live out in daily life, but it is the vocation of a father.
None of this is to deny the necessary discipline and justice that a father must practice with his children, but mercy and justice go hand in hand and justice always takes in part the form of loving forgiveness to the penitent child. Always be ready to welcome your children back into your arms no matter what they have done.
So discipline your children and teach that actions have consequences. But never let this be divorced from unconditional loving forgiveness.
I think that as such, I should state why I am qualified to be sharing my reflections with others given that I am not myself a father or husband.
First, I think it is wrong to have the mentality that you shouldn't take parenting advise from someone who isn't a parent or marriage advise from a single man. Being a father doesn't make you qualified to be a father, and neither does not being a father disqualify you from having insight about fatherhood. (Trust me, nobody reads the Theology of the Body and says that a celibate can't really know what it means to be married).
Secondly, I may not be a father, but I sure as heck had one growing up and what I learned from his example and witness gave me a model and a foundation on which to build my understanding of what it means to be a father and husband.
Given these two facts, I think that I should be judged on what I say, rather than how qualified I am to say it.
To begin then, what does it mean to be a father?
God is the perfect image of a father, and I think one of the most fundamental attributes of God to fatherhood is mercy.
There is a little boy living with us at the time of my writing this, he is about two years old. I don't understand why he does it or what sets him off, but one moment he will be laughing and playing with me and wanting me to hold him, and then suddenly he will start screaming and crying even if I look at him. This is super frustrating for me. I have a soft spot for little kids and I just want them to love me and for them to let me love them back. So when this boy will have nothing to do with me, naturally it hurts. That's in a nutshell how I would describe God's love for us as a father.
The difference between me and God though, is that when this little boy wants to play with me five minutes after trying to bite and hit me, I want to punish him. I want to give him the cold shoulder and keep him in timeout. But when I as a child, return to God I am greeted with loving arms of forgiveness and mercy.
That is pretty difficult to live out in daily life, but it is the vocation of a father.
None of this is to deny the necessary discipline and justice that a father must practice with his children, but mercy and justice go hand in hand and justice always takes in part the form of loving forgiveness to the penitent child. Always be ready to welcome your children back into your arms no matter what they have done.
So discipline your children and teach that actions have consequences. But never let this be divorced from unconditional loving forgiveness.
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