Are You Chaste?

Chastity is a funny virtue.  Or maybe it's just our understanding of chastity that is arbitrary. According to the catechism, a virtue is "a habitual and firm disposition to do the good".

We often think of chastity as abstaining from certain behaviors and actions that are contrary to the sixth and ninth commandments. How many other virtues do we define by not doing something? While it might seem to be a logical consequence of the definition of a virtue, habitually not doing the bad is not the defining characteristic of a virtue.

A virtue is always defined and practiced by the action of doing the good. One result of doing the good is not doing the bad. But again, simply not doing the bad doesn't cultivate virtue.

We do not live in a virtuous society. But of all the virtues, chastity is one of the least present and least understood.

I would suggest that our lack of understanding is responsible for the breakdown of chastity, and even aspects of our wider society.

You see, chastity has many forms. For the married man, sex is one of the proper and necessary expressions of chastity.

St. Paul writes;

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time".

From the beginning, the mission of man is to be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.

But basic catechisis teaches us that man's responsibility towards generation of souls does not exist soley, or even primarily, on a biological basis.

The man who fathers children biologically and does not also seek to father them spiritually has failed as a father and failed in chastity.  There is no chaste reason for wanting children other than to be united with them in heaven someday. There are many reasons for wanting children that can be in accord with chastity, but without the desire to generate spiritual life in them, all the other reasons are contrary to chastity.

We have been taught that chastity for the married man looks different than chastity for the single man.  This is indeed true. Chastity looks different for them, but on the deeper, most objective level, they are exactly the same, no matter how different they may look.

Chastity is absent in the married man who does not seek to generate spiritual life, no matter how well he controls or moderates sexual activity and thoughts. In the exact same sense, chastity is absent in the unmarried man who does not seek to generate spiritual life, no matter how well he controls or moderates sexual activity and thoughts

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While the generation of biological life is reserved and strictly bound to marriage, the generation of spiritual life is demanded of every immortal soul, in every state of life.

We tend to think of chastity in terms of sexuality because this is where chastity is most frequently attacked.  The devil likes to keep us fighting here because it distracts us from generating spiritual life and breaks down our physical sign of unity and life.  If chastity is only the virtue that keeps us from generating biological life at the wrong time or with the wrong person, when do we ever reflect on generating spiritual life?

I was recently introduced to the term reproductive charity.  Reproductive Charity is how we become spiritual fathers in Christ. Fr. John Harden writes; 

"Christian chastity must be more than self-mastery or the control of our innate passion of lust. If I may dare offer a definition of Christian chastity, I would say it is the virtue of selfless, reproductive love".

In this article, Fr. Harden goes on to explain the duty of each man to become a spiritual father and generate spiritual life through acts of charity.

Not everyone can generate spiritual life sacramentally, as can the priest, but we are all called to be fruitful in spiritual life.

Herein lies the secret of chastity. Self-control is great, but many evil men have shown remarkable self-control.  Self-control is at most the starting point for chastity, and chastity is sorely lacking when it ends with self-control.

Remember, no matter how well or poorly you control your sexual impulses, chastity is measured by spiritual generation. 

If you feel you have mastered self-control, do not be fooled into thinking that means you are chaste. Instead, examine how your self-control is enabling you to live your life as a self-gift to generate spiritual life. Try to share your faith and the life of the Spirit that you carry within you.

If you feel like you are in a losing battle against unchastity and you cannot seem to master your desires, do not be discouraged.  Instead, seek ways that you can generate and cultivate grace in others by prayer, sacrifice, and works of charity.

In both cases, it is important not to become discouraged in our efforts to generate spiritual life. Even in the generation of biological life, the moment of conception is a mystery. The parents of an unborn child can be pregnant for quite some time before they ever become aware of the life they have created.

Likewise, in the spiritual life, it may be years before we see the fruit of our labor, if we are blessed to see it at all. The goal is to perform countless acts of charity, trusting that the Holy Spirit will see them to fruition.

Hand in hand, self-control and charity form the true and manly virtue of chastity.  Either aspect can be a starting point, but it is only through the practice of the two together that chastity is born.

Many of us are bad at chastity due to one or both aspects. But when we understand the goal and meaning of chastity, growing in this virtue becomes a fruitful desire.

I challenge you to actively seek ways to become spiritual fathers to those around you.  Whether by mentorship, church ministry, evangelization, all coupled with a life of prayer, discover how you can participate in the life of the Trinity, a Trinitarian life of reproductive communion.